My friend, Fihr, reminded me of this...it's a good read! It's not new but might be new to some people:
Alamo's druid guide:ALAMO teech abowt the CATWILLKISSEM!
HEY GUSY! So ALAMO is just hiburninatin and hafin sum dreem where him is all in sum green thing with floaty bits and elf and stuffs and then him is WAKE UP and heer they got a doragn gonna eat all the world! THIS is sum FANSY STUFF!
A Thing is all carzy now, so maybe alamo gonna rite a thing before hims brekfust, for babee durids and for peeple to understand what a DUIRD DO! So now, while hims all awake and stuffs, ALAMO gonna teech U about this whole stuff!
1) See, Kanye, him dont like a Bush, and Blizzard, they is dont liek a tree! So DURID aint got no more to be a tree. Alamo like a tree, but not when make a leef all over the carpet.
2) They make a new thing, with CAT and KISS! But mostly CAT dont kiss, just jump on a thing and KILL IT ALL DEAD!
4) But Crazed MOON DURID, is ok to make a kiss right on the ECLIPS!
5) But dont only kiss a cat, because u know: CAT IS 4 FITE!
6) So DURID gonna be so storng heer, maybe everbuddy gonna be a durid thees day!
7) We got a bare. Him is not nise bare because him is gonna eat a fase! Bares mostly like the taste of fase!
6) OK now a Bare, him like sum HEVY METAL! BARE GOTTA THRASH. Just liek a thing wares short and high top sneeker and shake long hare reeeely fast! But also, ware sum plug in an ear wen you make this THRASH, becawse it make a thing bleed!
7) Also, all bare make peeple go fast when him RORE!! This is good, because a bare is deseptively fast. A Fast BARE, this is danjerus BARE! Bare don't even allow in OLIMPIC, becawse wonse upon a time, a bare run a rase in OLIMPIC. Maybe he dosen't win, but everduddy win after, becawse a BARE EAT ALL OTHER RASE MEN! Don't rase a hungry bare, is what sumbuddy shuld tell peeple.
8) MOON DURID, O yes wow man! Moon Durid hang out with 70's rock band and now make a MUSH ROOM from a SECRET PLASE! Mushrooms make a thing ECPLOAD! Espeshully a brain, if u listen to a moon durid backwards, u hear some CARZY THING!
9) Everbuddy liek a LOLCAT, make a funny say with a cute picshure! But now, picshure is not so cute, becawse a DURID now haf a TROLLCAT! Troll is make a talk all liek YAH MON. Maybe when trollcat and moondurid make a party together, is nobuddy remember not nothin next day!
10) WOLF MAN can also make a durid. WOLF MAN DURID, O man Alamo dosen't even haf to wear hims hot topic tee shirt no more! Now got all WOLF and CAT and BARE and MUCHROOM and SEEL and stuff all in same plase!
11) MAYBE I MAEK TOO MANY NUMBER!
Stinka's Guide to Other classes:Paladin:Paladin is man or woman with holy light, liek angel from god paladin hold up holy light so you see in dark and not be scared. You CANT play naughty paladin coz it not fit with paladin holy light ok?
Paladin always got big weapon, so first must get big weapon to show that you be strong, but if woman paladin use little wepon ok as you gots little arms ok?
Now member you carry holy light like olympic man carry toch; it very precious and must not go out; so not run too fast as wind can blow out holy light ok?
Must always go church on sunday as paladin as you will get devil inside you and be turned evil like a warlock ok?
So lets us recap, big sword, little sword if woman paladin ok, carry holy light but not run fast and always go church or you get warlocked. ok?
Right you always needed to speak with good laguage as people as paladin must speak nice and clear otherwise they think tarded and not able to hold up holy light; only poshes peopel with good spelling must play paladin so people see they better than everyone.
Remember you are holy light carrier and is must that you speak clear and rembmer to use proper spelling all time to show you great and worthy of carrying light.
Paladin coclusion Big weapon Not run fast Go to church speak clear use proper spelling
Do above is basic of being holy paladin if you not do above then you not true paladin you just a bad warrior with bad DPS so good luck and hop this helps for you.
Next gide i writed will be for warlocks anti pasta of paladins.
Warlock:As warlcock you is very evils, so evils everbodies runs from you in fears; so this must you do to be proper waroclk.
Never EVER be nice always be nasty and bad; if peoples asks you for helps say them NO, is better if macro NO as you say lot when you plays a warlcock ok.
Peopels asks portals says NO or be extra nasty by sending them to portal in bad place where big demone kill them! That very bad ok.
Remember that you must have party when sumone dies coz you is evil, so make macro laugh when sumone dies so you joice in they death ok.
Never EVER cry dance smile or kiss, you is warlcok you is nasty you is not nice you is not happy you is sad twisted thing ok.
If peoples wants talk to you remember ok that you is only lowed to talk to demones as they is you only friends, so you not speak english you speaks demone, so must always talk in tongs like this "hjsjaskljasd" they not stand you and they leave you lone ok. Being warolck is loneli so be ready for beeing on your own a long time ok. Nobody liek you as you is nasty and bad and nobody undestand you coz you speaks in tongs.
Waroclk recap Never be nice Use NO Marco laugh and party when sumone dies is fun thing for warolcks ok You is not happy no dance cry smile kiss anything always play lone as you is loneli nobody liek you ok talk in tongs always so nobody understand you demone speak
Dont plays warlcock if you is religos as it is play evil person, always kill priestes and paladin as they is holy and waroclk is oposit of holy so liek anti pasta.
Be nasty all time and say NO all time and always be loneli and not happy and this make you warlcock reputaton known all over word.
Next I writed gide on hunter
Rogue:To plays a rogue you gots to be sneaky; you gots to sneaks around coz you are sneaky ok.
Is importants that you gots a good daggers or swords to show peoples you are mean as hell coz you is a rogue, you is like a shadow silent like a wind and deadly like a wasp.
You is a shady rogue and must not answer questions by anyone as will give too much informations away, you is ilusive and intriguing coz peoples always wonders who you be ok.
Must always wear clothes to hide your bodi and always wear helmat or cloth on your head to disgize you face so not give much aways about you ok.
If peoples asks you too much or tries to sees who you really be, then you gots to vanish to remains ilusive.
You is not moral nor is you friendly or good, you is bad and you kill everything with no remose for anybody ok.
If things gets stiky for you, runs away like the wind with your speed; nobody catches you coz you is super fast so you must be ilusive always ok.
Rogue recap be sneaky always gets good daggers or swords to show you is mean as hell like wasp or maybe nasty bumble bee? be silent like wind always wears clothes on your bodi and face to disgize always be ilusive. Never EVER answerrs questions as you not give informations away to anybody if it gets sticky you is to run away super fast like a ostrich (fastest bird on land).
Dont plays rogue if you is a kid, becoz you is talk to much and rogue not talk alot coz they is ilusive, so only plays rogue if you is adult ok.
Remember rogue is opportunest and only show themself when they at advantage; if eggs hit the pan then is must you runs away. Ilusive is key to good rogue.
Next I will writed a hunter gide becoz I says I did them next but i didnt I did rogue gide instead; so im sorries for that ok
Hunter:Hunter is like master of wildness; they is fast they is survivable they is great with they pet.
To RP a goods hunter you must know all trees to see which gives bestes frut as you is tuned with nature and beasts; if sumone ask you what tree is that; you tells them with you great wild informations ok.
Hunters must always runs fast because you gots good legs and must never shows you is slow as this shows you weaknesses so run always faster than everyone else to show you is different and specials ok.
Peoples should frighted of your pet so get nasty looking one; nobody scared of pig so nots get one of those; gets cat or bear because they is wild.
You is master of range so always shows everybody you bow or gun to show you is a hunter, they need see you is master of range ok.
Nobody should see you much; not go to town much and not go to shops much as you live in wild and are wild thing who not need nothing but wild. Wild give everything you needs to be a good hunter so if you sees sumone tells them you is loner and you not need friends coz wild is your friend and you gots a pet for compeny.
Hutner recap Know trees so you answers questions on where bestes frut come from always runs fast than everybody else is key ok get nasty pet NOT pig! show everybodys your gun or bow to shows you is master of range You is a loner You only needs you pet Not go into town or shop much as get everything in wild
If you not like be loneli hunters not for you; hunter is always in wild living in wild eating wild; if you sees sumone in wild then is ok to talk to them, but you is always on move so never stands still as rogue may gets you too coz they is sneaky.
You need nobody and only rely on you pet and you coz you is master of range and tuned in wild.
Hope this heps you; next i be writed gide on warrior
Warrior:Warrior is like stone hard liek rock and strongs so strongs he not feared of anything but peoples be feared of warrior coz of big sword and loud scream ok.
If you is warrior bestest thing do first is get good scream, scream frighted peoples so must be awsome leik heeman. Liek power of greyscull! but not like that coz this WoW not heeman mabe something like "I is not frighted of you!" or "I goona stabs you"! is always shouted before you is fightin.
Is must you gets good shiny amor to shows peoples you is hard if you wears cloths then nobody be frighted of you so is must ok?
Is must you gets good big sword or any wepon that big is do ok
you is never frighted you is always at front of line coz you takes damage so must be strong and always speaks like you is not frighted ok wekness is be you nightmare and peoples not trusts you if you be frighted ok.
NEVER EVER runs aways from peoples. you is warrior you is like raby dog with white moth you is lust for honor and viktry
Warrior recap Not be frighted Gets good scream is must ok Shiny amor Big wepon is do ok Always be at front Always speaks like you is not frighted Never runs away from peoples
Is you frighted easly you is not play warrior as warrior never frighted so if you frighted easly mabe you be play paladin ok.
Be strongs and gets big musels and speaks like you is not frigted makes you great warrior is i promise ok.
Next I writed gide on priestes
Priest:Priestes is holy and like 100 wat light bulb is filled with light. You is not swears is big no no if you priestes, you not cus you not burp you not fart you is holy. Holy not do bad things ok
If you bad person you play warlock is priestes not for you is promiss i make ok
As priestes is always wear nice cloths as you not poor you is prod and devine like pope. but you musts not give money to begers as they is scum and you is needs all golds to buys nice cloths ok
Only heals good peoples if they swears or cusses they is not go to church so they is not good for heal ok they is must die and repet they sins so they is worty of you heal
Is must you go church every day as this you house and is importent that you is pray to light every day.
If you priestes you is holy ok? so you is not lowed to be shadow as this very naughty and is must you plays warlock!
Priestes recap you no swears burp fart or cus if you bad plays warlock not give money to begers as you needs rich to buys nice cloths only heals good peoples church every day if you plays shadow is must you play walrock
If you plays priestes like i says then peoples will neel at you when you walks bey, they sees how good and devine you be and thats you is pure like 100% smoth orange juce is good egsample.
I promis i writed next mage gide as i is mage and is my good special is come soon
Mage:As you see I is mage and you be like me ok
To RP good mage you is need be good liek me; some mage is terrbile with majic some mage is good with majic ok.
Is need to decide which you be if you bad with majic then mabe spell blow up in your face and you wears tatty cloths coz of this.
If you is good mage you wears nice cloths like mine so you shows you is good with majic because majic not blow up in your face ok
Mage not walk or runs anywhere we is blink always as we is lazy deep downs coz we eats too much biscits and drinks to much water so somes of us got fat belly from all food and drink.
If you not want fat belly then best is you do some exursize, mabe you be miner to work you musles or mabe you be herb man to keeps you fit ok
Is impotent that you is intelligant mage dont matter if you is bad with majic or good you needs be intelligant coz you is use majic which be difficult to master ok.
If you wants peoples see you is intelligant is best you have book in you hand always; peoples sees then that you is a reader and that you is intelligant. Nobodies ever sees warriors with books is because they is all musels and no brains so is very impotent you is show who you is brainy ok.
If you is gooing to party is always good you turns peoples into sheeps, this be good party trick and peoples hire you for more parties and makes you rich so you bey nicer cloths!! is fact I tells you ok.
Mage recap If bad majic spell blow up in you face and you wears tatty cloths If good majic spells not blow up in you face and you wears nice cloths NOT WALK NOT RUN Always blink You is Lazy You is got fat belly If you not wants fat belly you is a miner or herb man Always be intelligant is very impotent Always got book in you hand to shows you is intelligant Always go partys and sheeps peoples for party trick is make you very rich
Is not easy being mage coz we always get wrong end of carrot all time and if you smalls like me you is get stepped on lot.
Mage is fun and I is always having funs so if you wants funs like me then be mage like me; I is promis you is not make you sorry
Next I think I writed gide on shaman and mabe when i finishes class gide I do race gide like thing says aboves me
Mabe